Invariably, a curious, likely well-meaning, but possibly insensitive person will ask- “What does it MEAN?” or “I’m not sure what this means.” They refer to my transition while, in a word, want to know how it might affect them, how to explain it to anyone else (or probably even to themselves), all the while implying that “it” has such significant meaning that I’m obligated to provide instant, satisfactory and most of all understandable explanations.
Perhaps we can break this down to an easily understandable level.
First thing in the morning, invariably without exception, my eyes open- that MEANS I’m awake, something I enjoy in the mornings. In fact, as long as I remain standing and active during the day, that MEANS I’m still alive- I really like that!
But then it gets more complicated- several days a week I go to the local gym. That MEANS I’m willing to discipline myself and MEANS I’m willing to work up a sweat to keep myself in shape.
Now, let’s not overlook really important observations- here we go…
When I get home from the gym, I’m sweaty and anxious to take a shower- That MEANS I like being clean and actually enjoy the soothing sound and feel of a nice warm shower.
When I’m done with the shower, I start thinking about breakfast- that MEANS I’m hungry!
After eating, I get ready for work- that MEANS I need to make a living.
After several hours work, I’m thinking about lunch. You got it- that MEANS I’m hungry again.
Towards the end of the afternoon, there’s been action, challenge, downtime, constantly mixed and I look forward to getting away from the office- that MEANS I want to get away from the office.
I’m wondering- is there a pattern here? Have you ever found yourself experiencing a similar pattern? Have you been hungry? Have you worked for a living? Have you taken care of yourself? Have you been tired?
Does this MEAN we’re more similar than different? Does this MEAN maybe we can be friends?
It would be so nice to not have this be the 500 Lb gorilla every time we meet or talk with somebody. For our part, we can decide it doesn't have to be but we can't always control whether the gorilla gets in the room. The trick is finding ways to deal with it while maintaining your own grace and dignity. You CAN get the gorilla to dance ;)
ReplyDeleteThere does become a time when the greater majority of your friends and contacts will be people who have only known the complete you. I've conceptualized this with the term "True Friends"; much like "True Selves", it encompasses those people in your life whom you know and whom know you only as the real self you are today.
I'm exceedingly grateful to count you as a True Friend :D